It can be hard to find resources for healing after the loss of a baby. For more on why those resources would have been helpful to me, you can take a look at my bio . But since I didn’t connect with any of the conventional options I was offered, I took the woo-woo route to healing. As a Christian, I knew that my baby was not gone . But knowing she was close by and that I could connect with her was so helpful for me. I knew that my baby girl was OK and I wanted to be OK for her too. The thing that helped me do that was to consciously raise my vibration.
We all have energy - that’s what I worked with to help people heal as an acupuncturist. When your energy is vibrating at a low frequency, you might feel negative, sluggish, and like the stuff in your life is not going right. When your energy is vibrating at a higher frequency you might feel positive, energetic, and like your life is running smoothly. Raising vibration sounds really woo-woo, but in reality, the things that I did to get there were not that woo-woo at all.
I talked: Raising vibration is not just about being in a happy mood. In fact, because I was experiencing grief, a major part of raising my vibration was experiencing each emotion as it came up so that I could move through it rather than just pretending to be happy (though I did some of that as well). The stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. You’d think that because they’re called “stages” you’d work through one, finish, and then go to the next. That’s not how it happens, at least not for me. I jumped around and cycled through them over and over. Each time my husband or I experienced a wave of grief, we would stop everything, sit down, hold each other, and talk through it until the wave had passed. Sometimes it was a quick bought of anger. Other times it was hours of tears, talking, and laughter. Laughter often made it in the conversation. In my experience, deep joy can be felt within the deepest sorrow. That laughter was a signal that talking, and moving through the emotions together, was raising our vibrations.
I walked: As an acupuncturist I knew that if my body was not moving my energy would get stuck. Stuck energy contributes to low vibration. I also knew that one of the best ways to get energy un-stuck, especially if the stuckness is caused by something like grief, is to move. I had just gone through a major physical trial (birth) and emotional trial (loss). It would have been unkind to ask my body to go to the gym or run. So I chose to be gentle with myself and I walked. I breathed the fresh air, I felt the sun and breeze on my skin, and I walked.
I breathed: Another beautiful and simple (though not always easy) way to get the energy moving and raise vibration is to breathe. Shallow breathing from the very top of my chest is a stressed out, low vibration type of breathing that I tend to do if I’m not paying attention. Not only does that type of breathing happen when I’m stressed, but breathing like that can signal to my body that I’m stressed, even if I’m not. I would often combine walking with a breathing meditation. Nothing exciting - just a few slow deep breaths with the rhythm of my steps.
I went to the beach: One way to refresh energy and therefore increase vibration is to physically connect with the earth. If we have energy, so does the earth. When in direct contact with the earth, there is an energy exchange which is called “grounding” or “earthing”. When I didn’t have enough to be able to raise my own vibration, or if I just wanted an assist, I went to the beach, sat in the sand, and watched the waves or journaled (which also raised my vibration in the same way as talking).
I looked around: My mind tends to go a lot of places. If I’m not careful, it tends to go to worry about the future or to replaying the past. Worry and obsessing about what has already happened are very natural but very low vibration thoughts. So I would catch myself when I was there and I would look around. I would use all my senses to be in the moment, which is called mindfulness meditation or just being present. I might look out the front window at the tree blowing in the wind (a hummingbird would probably show up at that time), while feeling the hot teacup in my hands and the steam gently layering beads of warm, wet air on my face, breathing in the humid air and drinking in the warm tea which was a little bitter from steeping too long, perhaps the breeze was blowing through the back window and I’d get the scent of orange blossoms, while listening to the sounds of the street outside. That might not have brought me back to a gloriously high vibration, but it would raise my vibration at least to neutral.
I thought about what I wanted: Being present was a good way to get to neutral, but planning my future, which was a meditation that I would also do while walking, was a good way to increase my vibration even more. In my mind, I would walk through a day in the life I wanted to have in the next 10 years. That vision would include some way that I honored my little girl - maybe it was her birthday and my husband and I and our future kids would sing to her and eat treats in her honor. I don’t remember what I wanted then, but four years later I daily enjoy a new beautiful vision of what my life will look like in the future.
I honored my little girl: I created rituals to include my little girl in my life. They were things that I looked forward to. The anticipation and joy of implementation raised my vibration. Every month on the 24th we would go to her grave and take her a gift. Usually one flower specifically picked at the florist. But there were bigger things done in her honor as well. One of the things the medium at the Holistic Living Expo told me (after she caught our attention and then had a reading from her) was that I was holding all my love inside and hoarding it for my little girl who wanted me to share it with other children in the world. So I shifted my acupuncture practice to a pediatric focus in her honor and loved the babies and children that came in to see me. That giving of love also increased my vibration immensely.
Did you see Part 1? Would you like to use mentoring as a resource for healing after baby loss?
What sorts of things have you done to raise your vibration? Tell me in the comments below.
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