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When my baby was a few months old, I received a baby calendar. It was like a yearly wall calendar, but the picture area had spaces for baby’s pictures and the date boxes were meant to be filled in with baby’s firsts and special moments. Then, at the end of the baby’s first year, you just cut the pages at the top and stick them into a scrapbook, and there you go! I had been texting those special moments and pictures to my mom and husband, so I figured I could just fill in the earlier time period and keep up with the present.
You got the call in the early afternoon on July 24, 2013 to a home in Rancho Bernardo. A baby was born at home and was in respiratory distress.
I could hear your siren before you arrived. Someone threw a towel over my shoulders, but otherwise, I was naked and kneeling next to the couch while the midwives worked on my little girl. It seemed like hundreds of you walked into my home. You took my baby and ran out, with my husband in the midst of it all. Kalis went in the back of your ambulance while my husband rode up front.
In our Mommy Group last week a question arose: “What decision have you made as a mother that you later realized was the wrong decision and then regretted.”
Every single woman in the room had an answer. And guilt. Except me.