My little one requested to go with Daddy to class today - alone - just the two of them. Usually, we do things as a family (or minus Daddy), so that was a first. I felt fine when they left, kind of excited even! I could finish folding the laundry alone or even clean the floor. But I needed a snack, so I started there.
While I was making my green drink, I peeked on Facebook. I’m not one of those people that feels sad when other people are doing cool stuff, but today I did. I actually started to feel jealous. It was the people traveling and a post about acupuncture that got me.
Then I realized, I have all that. In fact, this weekend, I’ll be going to a seminar. Ok, I’ll only be traveling to another part of the city, but I’ll be basically on my own all day studying acupuncture for four days in a row. I’ll be home every night, but it will definitely be a change in scenery.
So why is my heart still aching? Perhaps it’s because my little baby is growing up. Even though I didn’t take it personally - I wasn’t offended that I was being left behind - it signifies something big. I’m not needed as much as I was. I haven’t physically been “needed” like that for a while. But now we both know, and my husband knows too, that my little one is totally capable of choosing to be without me.
I suppose those Facebook posts about traveling and being an acupuncturist were triggers for me today because they were things I was choosing not to do so I could focus on being a mommy. But, all of the sudden, I can do them now. My baby is ready. I will be too. Soon, but not quite yet.
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